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Thursday, June 7th, 2007
9:34 am
Hey, just thought I'd check this place to see if I'd missed any excitement...no? Guess real life wins then!

And to think that back in March I truly thought this year was going to be horrendous - I had major problems with myself, and that is always a *bad* thing. Now, here I am three months later, having a great time: who'd have guessed, huh?

I'm not going to go into everything, cos I can't be bothered frankly, but I want to mention a few things to remind me of what's happening at the moment. The first thing that really sticks in my head is...Fields of the Nephilim were bloody marvellous at the Astoria last month. We spent two days down in London, met up with loads of people (gods, there should have been a sign up outside the Intrepid Fox saying "MySpace people meet here!!") and the whole thing was something I'm glad I didn't miss. New Model Army are playing on Dec 20th and, despite it being horribly inconvenient for me at work, I fully intend to take the time off and go see them too.






Nathan's happy - and working! Who would have thought those two could go together again? It helps that he's working for a company owned by two members of a certain venerable old heavy metal band (that I won't name - although they all seem to be on MySpace you never know who's listening!) and there are also several roadies, session musicians etc working there. He's found a new lease of life, I think - he's even bought himself a new bass, which should be delivered tomorrow, and they are muttering about getting a band together...as long as he doesn't want me to sing, I don't care!

I've booked our holiday too - Brighton again, in time for the gay pride festival. Next year I've promised Nathan we'll get our passports renewed (mine ran out about two years ago) and we'll go to Greece or something, so he can bake in the sun for seven days flat.

I'm also drooling over a new lcd television - the one I've seen is 40", and I'm justifying it on the grounds that we watch a *lot* of films and we really should have the best equipment!
My car is great too, apart from a misty headlight which (apparently) is a known Seat problem due to the air-con. Having complained three times so far and getting nowhere, I'm currently considering having a tantrum...

What else? Oh, I had a bit of a rant at the senior partner in my annual appraisal (which I had in May instead of January this year) and as a result I ended up with an 8% pay rise. Which was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, I guess, although it depends what it's 8% *of*, doesn't it?

There's loads of other stuff, but I suppose I should really get some work done. Hope everyone out there is doing okay, or at least treading water and not drowning...

current mood: happy

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Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
2:49 pm - Rationalization, anyone?
Okay, so I have a tendency to buy myself something nice and frivolous when I'm stressed. And before the Easter break I had a *nightmare* fortnight at work where there just weren't enough hours in the day etc, etc.

But this time I may have gone a teensie bit overboard.

I've bought myself a brand spanky new car. My first one ever.

And *now* I'm stressed about that....


current mood: quixotic

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Thursday, March 15th, 2007
4:35 pm
Stand by me, Death, lest these dark days
should hurt me more than I may know;
I beg that if the wound grows sharp
you take me when I ask to go.

Step closer, Love, and dry your eyes,
what's marred you'll never mend by tears,
let's finish where the tale began
and kiss away the ruined years.

A moment, Faith, before you leave,
there's one last favour I would ask;
put to some use your handsome hand
and show me the face behind your mask.

--Three Pleas, Henry Treece

current mood: sleepy

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Wednesday, March 14th, 2007
3:02 pm
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"

The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the crap out of the little rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit.

"Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers, "That little shit has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"

current mood: lethargic

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Friday, February 23rd, 2007
9:03 am
Hmmph...I'll believe this when I see it:


current mood: cynical

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Thursday, February 1st, 2007
9:07 am - Temptation
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and
Magnums. And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? And Man said
"Yes!" And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips". And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad". And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter- dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre
into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose
those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, And super size 'em". And Satan said "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health


After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you

current mood: crappy

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Friday, January 26th, 2007
4:14 pm

Guess who's going out again this weekend....

current mood: mischievous

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Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
11:43 am - Burpday!
Well, I'm another year older; I don't know where the last ten years went, frankly. I think I'll check behind the sofa - if you lose something, that's generally where it will be...

At least this time around I actually enjoyed myself. On Friday I went out for a meal with four girlfriends, to an "all you can eat" Chinese restaurant. So we did - I didn't eat again until Sunday! Two of my friends took the opportunity to announce that they were pregnant; that makes three with Nathan's sister. By this point devilry (and a bottle and a half of pinot grigio) was in me, so I told them *I* was, too. Their faces were priceless!

Yesterday Nathan and I went for a romp in the wilds of Derbyshire. Okay, not exactly - but it was wild enough for me, and it *was* raining! Wandered around a quaint little village before discovering a veg*n cafe that sold falafel and hummus, so that was me happy! We eventually rolled homewards where I addressed myself to a further bottle of wine whilst listening to very loud music and making a drunken pizza for tea. Then I watched "The Transporter", which was all I was up to understanding by that point. Heh.

I've returned to work to find my desk loaded with enough work to convince me I've been through a time warp and was actually away for a week *sigh*. I refuse to get stressed, however, and am focussing on a further night out planned for Friday when some other friends are taking me to see some goth bands I've barely heard of.

Further good points are that I've so far avoided the current outbreak of chickenpox going round - although I *have* got a suspicious-looking rash across my chest, which Nathan keeps kindly offering to rub cream on...

I'm sure there's something else...what was it now? Oh yes, happy new year! What do you mean, I'm a bit late? I've had things to DO!

current mood: chipper
Thursday, December 21st, 2006
4:52 pm - Tired. Sleep now.
Well, today started off well and just got better and better! One of my clients sent me a £25 gift voucher and a "thanks for being fab" card (heh! I put *that* one up, let me tell you!); then the senior partner's secretary gave me some vegan chocolate, then just before lunch one of my other clients showed up with a bottle of Moet and a box of Ferrero Rocher (or Grandpa's Crusty Balls, as they are now known...), then whisked me off for a three hour three course meal (and the boss couldn't say a thing!). Of course I returned to work half-cut and stuffed with yummy food to find desperate clients screaming with last minute emergencies...I don't give a rat's winkle, frankly.

*blows raspberries*

Then it turns out that my abstention from voting for the office "Employee of the Year" (plus the rather barbed comment I put on my voting card about not knowing how to vote for who got the xmas present this year) seems to have had the desired effect, as the senior partner bought everyone a bottle of their favourite tipple. Or, in my case, three bottles of Spanish Rioja.

Unfortunately, I now feel like I'm on holiday - but I have to come to work tomorrow. Plus, garlic at lunchtime is *not* a good idea.

Oh, and FOG!!!! Wow, I love fog. It makes me want to go out for a walk, dressed all in black and pretend I'm at Whitby.

current mood: pleased

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Thursday, December 7th, 2006
12:47 pm
I'm thinking of buying someone this for xmas:


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9:54 am - Step away from the credit card....
I now have a note pinned to my office wall that says:

"A credit card bill is for life, not just for Christmas."

Having said that, I'm going shopping with a friend on Saturday. Hopefully the enormous queues will encourage me to spend the day in the pub instead of buying clothes that I don't need/will never wear/have no wardrobe space for...

current mood: cold

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Monday, December 4th, 2006
5:21 pm - Shamelessly stolen from InspectorXero...
*Does a smug dance*

Frankly, I needed *anything* to cheer me up today! But don't get me started on "A+"; I mean, an A is an A is an A...it's like saying 110%...that bugs me too!

Your Vocabulary Score: A+

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!
You must be quite an erudite person.

current mood: tired

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Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
3:16 pm - God save us from secular societies...(!)
Just came across this:


I particularly like the comment which goes: "I just always thought that Joseph was a lot older than Mary and so died when Jesus was quite young. There's no Biblical evidence, but this was pretty common in those days."

I actually laughed out loud at that one; it made me giggle several times afterwards as I resisted the temptation to reply to it...Perhaps it was supposed to be ironic? Shouldn't there be an 'Irony font'? 'Sarcasm font'? 'Disingenuous font'? I mean, that last sentence sums things up for me: basically, there's no evidence, but this is what I believe.

It goes some way to explaining the furore over Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code (don't get me started on *that* one).


It's winter again, isn't it? I don't know what comes over me at this time of year. I veer between being a complete bitch and a complete devil, much to certain people's bewilderment. Hey, don't ask me to explain it, I don't understand it myself. I could do with a sparring partner with a keen wit and a sharp intelligence to fence with. Any volunteers? No? Cowards....

current mood: mischievous

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Monday, November 27th, 2006
9:30 am
Well, I never thought I would find myself writing this but: I enjoyed a James Bond film!! And I can't be the only one; the cinema we went to was running several screens all day, every day and *still* packing them in to the rafters. I can't remember the last time I went to the pics and struggled to find a seat - on a Sunday lunchtime!
I'm looking forward to more!

current mood: chipper

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Monday, November 20th, 2006
4:57 pm
I *almost* got to watch LOTR part three last night. Except there was a power cut at about 11pm. Looks like I'm doomed never to witness the little munchkins climbing Zah ha Doom (okay, wrong film, but you know what I mean).

Luckily my youngest tom cat's stomach is set for 7.30 am, so the lack of alarm didn't matter. If only I could find his timer switch to adjust for weekends...

I did my best to catch pneumonia Saturday night, waiting at a bus stop. Who ever said shivering warms you up?

Oh, and I've had a bitch of a day. Everyone and his brother decided to try to stress me out - and next month will be worse. Joy.

current mood: stressed

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Monday, November 13th, 2006
10:03 am
It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears.
The woman came out of a man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on.
Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected, and
next to the heart to be loved."

--The Talmud

current mood: tired

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Wednesday, November 8th, 2006
3:03 pm - Books
I've just finished reading some books that were...unsettling? engrossing? fascinating? All of these and more, I think, and the first two were certainly not my usual choice of novel:

The Gospel of Judas by Simon Mawer

I had heard of this one and been put off by reviews that said the historical aspect was secondary to the book - but then I came across it again, and decided to give it a go. I'm glad I did; the writing style alone (although difficult to get to grips with at first, shifting through time periods and from 1st to 3rd person) is beautifully done and convincingly portrays the main story of a man trying to come to terms with faith, love and betrayal. It doesn't offer you any pat answers, simply shows the struggle; and some aspects remain unresolved, meaning the whole thing lingers in your head. The background story of the discovery of an ancient scroll purporting to be the eyewitness account of Judas is just as intriguing, and gives an interesting counterpoint to the anguish of the main theme, the fall from grace of the translator Father Leo Newman.


As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

This one was another one I was dubious about, set as it is in mid-17th century England - although this is the English Civil War, I haven't read any novels written about the period. This, however, is brilliant *and* it's a first novel! It's a year in the life of a commoner called Jacob Cullen, from his wedding day and subsequent flight from the authorities after committing a senseless murder to his conscription into the Parliamentarian New Model Army. He becomes obsessed with a fellow soldier called Christopher Ferris and they eventually desert and form a commune of Diggers. It's about obsessive love as much as it is about the period in which it is set, and how Cullen destroys everything he loves; much of it is intensely disturbing, particularly Cullen's explosive temper and his struggles to cope with his jealousy and his Voice (which at various times he believes to be his father, God and the Devil). This is not one for the squeamish, and not for those who have a problem with homosexuality or rape; the sex isn't graphic but you are left in no doubt about what happens. To be honest, the whole book is a fascinating but discomforting read; it's one that will stay with you, not least for the shocking ending.


Robert, Earl of Essex: An Elizabethan Icarus by Robert Lacey

And this last one is about one of Elizabeth I's favourite courtiers Robert Devereux, 2nd Earl of Essex. Truly, the man was a fascinating creature; responsible for the core creation of the Bodleian Library (loot from the Bishop of Taro's library when he sacked Cadiz), he was a bitter enemy of Sir Walter Ralegh and rumoured to be the lover of the Earl of Southampton (better known as Shakespeare's patron). He was a spymaster in competition with the Cecils, directly responsible for the gruesome execution of Doctor Lopez (the Queen's doctor, who spread rumours that he had syphilis) and was feted as the successor to the Shepherd Knight Sir Philip Sidney - despite the fact that he was staggeringly incompetent in military matters. He is infamous as the only courtier that roused Elizabeth to such anger that she actually physically slapped his face, and in response he *almost* drew his sword on her! Known for his bizarre and excessive mood swings, he was finally convicted of treason and executed after raising a wild and inept rebellion against the Queen in London.


current mood: contemplative

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Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
2:03 pm
I would say that some people have waaaayy too much time on their hands - but then again, I've had several goes at it myself:


current mood: creative

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Monday, October 30th, 2006
9:53 am
I decided to try being a hermit this weekend; well, a hermit with a television. Consequently I am now sitting at work staring at my monitor with bleary square eyes and a skewed take on what we laughingly refer to as reality...

In order, I watched:

The Prophecy
The Queen of the Damned
Embrace of the Vampire
Pulp Fiction
Lucky Number Slevin
Apocalypse Now (Redux)
Ichi the Killer

My brain hurts. And no, *that* one isn't a film (I think).

current mood: weird

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Monday, October 23rd, 2006
4:40 pm - Ghost in the machine...
This year is screaming past at an alarming rate - Carnival of Souls is behind me again, and people are muttering about Samhain. It's also my sister's 40th birthday, and she's going to a 60s revival (or something like that, I kind of blanked out half way through the description) - I just can't bring myself to go. I did say I would to start with, but sense and sanity have prevailed and I've now declined. I'd hate it, I know I would; I should feel guilty, I suppose, but as one of my friends pointed out to me, she would hardly go to Rock City for my birthday...
I'm in a foul mood and haven't a clue why; today started off badly at 6.30am when my youngest cat decided to re-enact his favourite scene from the Great Escape by attempting to dig a tunnel through the stair carpet.
I give up. I was going to have a right winge, but I just can't raise the energy. Roll on 5.30pm...

current mood: crappy

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